when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Randomize
