i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
