After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
