If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
