My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
