Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor