Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day