Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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