i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
