found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
