Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
