the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
