When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
