JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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