The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
