i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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