also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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