so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
