I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
