He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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