I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
