Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am midnight drunk by noon
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
