she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
