ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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