You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
