You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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