i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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