She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
