saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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