you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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