I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
