Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
