Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
