Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
