So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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