You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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