she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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