My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
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I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i think im in europe. pls send help
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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