Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
