Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
