Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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