I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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