I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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