I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We're too hungover to prance.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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