Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)