Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
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I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?