You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
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We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.