i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.