i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea