I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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