you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
