You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My breasts were aching with rage.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
