addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
