im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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