Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
operation harelip BJ is a go
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
