I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize