just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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