is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
