ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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