is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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