why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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