My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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