Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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